~ Musings ~

February 19, 2018

EN=Emotional Neediness

I realized when he said it, he needed it. This, after all the times that he said he wanted it to end. I ended it time and time again, inside my head, and in my heart where it left long ago. Still, we spoke of it. (more…)

January 28, 2018

I Used To Say Love

Drawing by Jaye Gray

I used to say, my son died. Now, I say, he passed away. I used to say, I have two children, then one, then two. Now, three. I used to say, this is fun. There was joy. Then, no more. The times that came, went. I went away when my joy left, that little boy, who became a man. Then, spirit. I thought I knew what love was. Is. I did. Then, I was confused. I lost it in the mire of hell, the Maya that covered the veil of love that I knew when I was knowing you.

You used to hide in clothing racks, I’d say, I’ll spank you, how you scared me that you’d be stolen by a stranger. I couldn’t spank you. Though I pretended to. Then, you grew, and hid from me, in a place I couldn’t see. It was stranger than the stranger. I could not forget it. Or you. (more…)

January 10, 2018

Without A Bucket List On The Road To Nowhere

There is an abundance of people wanting desperately to be accepted. Putting themselves ‘out there’ to be heard, recognized, blurbed. Billions of them. Most are part of the mainstream, or the new stream that they think isn’t mainstream, but is the same thing. If you’ve gotten attached now to a positive jive, something you think is hip, perhaps a ‘yoga’ bit, or a piece of enchanted soul-talk-romantic, I’d beg you to question what it is you are now ‘into’. (more…)

December 16, 2017

I Am The Gold

A bell rings and I hear it pouring inside my head

The rain comes and I hear the music pound instead

I am the captor and the captive of my emotions

The nature of the one who brings rain without tears. (more…)

December 7, 2017

The Beauty Of Death

He spoke to me of something rare. Something beautiful. Like a fragile bird that no one has seen, but in a dream it exists. Deep inside where fragility hides. (more…)


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