Someone turned the lights out. Again. I am in the dark. I feel something. Much. All the things I care not to feel because I know better. I truly know better.
 
The dark is down. I feel down. I feel like going into the world and just roughing, toughing, its waters. Rolling and splashing and thrashing. But my energy is gone because I don’t belong, here. I don’t want to. I want the better me back. The bigger one. I want to climb out from down under, where I feel defeated now somehow. Like I was somewhere beyond and now I’m back where I don’t belong.
 
How do I sustain the better state? How do I keep it afloat in a state of worldly chaos and people wanting ~ wanting me to engage, to play? To show my weakness everyday. I don’t want to. I want to leave the prison of not being able to leave this prison of me at my own willing, when I please. Raising my awareness out of me and taking nothing, no baggage, to a different space, and returning when I choose, with a truly new perspective. I want to go. To know where I want to go and to travel there whenever I choose.